It annoys me that I'm so restless to the point where I've submitted to zodiac labels. Pisces, the dreamer. I dream too much. I care too much ( and dream ) about future rather than focusing on the present, which doesnt make sense since what I do in the present will determine a particular outcome, my future.

super ravishing flickr guy :What a beautiful self-portrait, Sofiyah! I love it.
You look like a female version of Mogli. :)

my reply : haha that has to be the weirdest (albeit cutest) compliment ( if it is one lol ) I've ever got! ^^

his reply : Of course it was a compliment, Sofiyah! :)
It's hard for me to explain it in english, but I think it has something to do with the pureness of your look. At the same time there is a kind of contrast, because you look wild and fragile.
Since there are so many photos of you in the jungle, Mogli just came to my mind.Probably I said nothing with sense, but at least I tried! haha

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I find it strange how perfect strangers can read and point out something about you that you wouldn't notice yourself. Its like when people always point out my little mole above my lip. Its so much a part of my face like my eyes and nose that I dont even notice it anymore, until someone reminds me of its existence; " oh you have that lucky mole thing/ taik lalat manis" ( taik lalat sounds so much more patronizing )

"but I think it has something to do with the pureness of your look. At the same time there is a kind of contrast, because you look wild and fragile."


What he said struck a chord in me as something so simple and true. Despite my openness, friendliness, and social outburts, I'm actually a very private and reserved person. I dont randomly give my life stories, even to people Im close with. Despite the fact that I adore everything outdoor-related, I rather stay at home, or take a stroll or jog in the park than hang out in social hotspots and mingle. And despite the fact that I've been living away from my family for almost a year now, and insisting Im independant enough to travel and get things done by my own, I really wish I lived with my parents. I really wished I was closer with my siblings, especially when those bouts of rindu hit me in full force. Despite my fearless attitude, I suck at confrontations, rather sitting back and pretend nothing happened than starting a commotion. I'm a contradiction to my own self. There's these two different people, Sophie and Sofiyah. Sophie the photographer, outdoor crazy, funny, crazy girl and Sofiyah, the daddy's girl, alone in the house with a book, giving hugs to her friends , squeezing her cat , watching tv while nibbling on dark chocolate. Sophie who overspends and Sofiyah who panics over it.


whoa.

My birthday month will be a crazy one! No no, I dont mean partying, boozing and stuffing myself with cake, although the cake part may be subject to change. Tan has flooded me with Penan related emails and I've decided to join him for the CNY trip, February 11th! I cant wait! It'll be a 10 day trip to Batu Lawi with numerous other volunteers, and a Penan advocate himself who has met Bruno Manser, journalist James Ritchie. Almost all the Penans know James Ritchie, from him interviewing Bruno and his Penan gang, and got everyone elses attention with his books and posts in the local paper.

I'm a real arse thinking that money will just drop out of the sky and miraculously pay for all these trips. I cant help it, I keep saying yes and choose to suffer in part 2.


I hope I dont die from exhaustion or anything since I'll be doing the Mount Tahan 110km trek from the 1st till the 8th of February. I'll need time to recover, badly, so hopefully this Batu Lawi trek wont be a strenuous one.



ps; our first stop is Long Adang. the very first village I visited!

man, this sucks. I am photographically dead, no new pictures, nothing exciting.

I was at the gym for 4 hours today. I did bodypump, had my personal training session, did tough-ass Dynamic Flow yoga and bodyjam.


my body is going to fucking hate me tomorrow and I know it.