I find myself mesmerized by chain of beautiful words that have no meaning. Eyes hovering over words that make my mind giddy with pronunciations. Run off sentences gallivanting into unknown galaxies and memories that only the writer can remember . What happened to me the reader? Do you think the words are all I need? What about the dense hollow emotions that need to be filtered into my chest with verbs and shifted elements? Perhaps writing is not always about precision but rather the ability to paint your soul onto a sheet of paper. So here you go - paint your soul all you want. But remember that my soul is a stranger to yours

I was already tired, but he came anyway despite it being late, despite me telling him to just go home and not bother. MWAHAHAH evillll.

I took a second shower, trying to wash the fatigue off.

we discussed his work together, I read a whole feckin' 16-page-notes on Construction Contracts. The most memorizing, and thinking I've done since A-levels. SO YEAH, go ahead and ask me about clauses, types of contracts/subcontracts and their flaws because my brain is saturated with PORAMs , IEMs, JKRs and PAMs.

Im still looking for a sample contract online and they're ridiculously hard to find. The few that are available need to be purchased as they are part of books.

I drank my coffee, he barely touched his. I'm wide awake at 5am, and he's fast asleep ,on the same carpet with his arms snug around my pillow, eyelashes like spiders.

BABIIIIII. ahhaha


he calls me Israa, which reminds me of you dee. ( glad that you've followed the blog!, LOVE YOU HEAPS )

The sky outside decided to be sexy and flash me tonight with lightning. Great, alone AND rain? lagi la he'll wander deeper into slumber. *sobs*

mana kucing aku?

Theobroma cacao

"I actually bought you a box of praline chocolates to give to you after the play
I just got back home, and found them gossiping in the freezer looking pretty disappointed they didn't reach you.
I'll pass it to Naza soon!




take care!

Sophie"


I didn't bring them initially, because
a) I was shy
b) didn't think I'd actually go for your play


anyway

I came back to another HUGE MASSIVE CHOCOLATE BAR being finished. THANKS BRO! *DESTROYS WARCRAFT ACCOUNT*. haha.

"ali, you finished everything? jeez that was a huge bar!"
"mrrhffhh"
"anyway, dont eat the other one. its for someone"
"ooh you mean _____"
"um"
"so how's that going hmm? *winks*"
"nothing is going on"
"why not"
"malas lah, I dont want this mumbo jumbo"
"yea right, you rather just like him from afar because you're scared of the thought of rejection"
"no I'm not"
"grow up sofiyah"


my fear of rejection is a far larger beast than being rejected itself.



plus me saying i'll pass it to Naza is just me not having the guts to see you.

Sophie Israa Mokhtar 11 October at 20:59

hey nasser!

Sophie here. Im currently in Dubai. I thought of going to Oman to do some hiking, or whale watching , or simply walk through the picturesque city Musqat. I might take the bus there.

my parents arent too keen on me going alone though. they want to make sure I know someone there just incase if anything happens. im not asking you to stick with me or anything haha, just maybe show me a good place to stay. or a cool place to visit.

id really appreciate it if you could help, as a friend :)
salam

Nasser Chollo 21 October at 04:12
hiiiiiiiiiiiiiii,, sorry i was out of Oman i justcame back can you please send me your phone number. my number is 0096899010396 , ill be waiting


Sophie Israa Mokhtar 21 October at 13:23
hey nasser! you got me at a bad time! I was in dubai for two weeks haha and im actually at the airport now waiting to board to go back to KL :(


take care!

Sophie


my ex is just a little too fucking late.

As It Happens from renan ozturk on Vimeo.

practicing a little of The Secret.
I know I'll be in Nepal soon, I can feel it in my bonessss

Everyone always go "oooh you're so lucky to be in Dubaiii"

little do they know, every single day that I'm here, my parents ask when I'll go home.


oh well. tough love. if it is that anyway.

Im back in Dubai again for a short stay. Despite Dubai having no real attraction for me aside from the chance to be in my parent's company, this dusty land does have a few interesting memories. My first real "love", when I was here few years ago , is one of them. It was this Omani lad, a steward I met through a friend. Back then I was utterly transfixed by his grizzly stubble, cheeky grin and mischievous eyes. I was a total sucker for his charm haha. I completely forgot our age difference ( him being 7/8 years older ) and the fact that his line of work, being a steward, involved brushing shoulders with beautiful stewardesses. I was naive enough to think that we had, or I what I imagined we had was anything real or that he would actually be faithful to me, a lost googly-eyed, 17 year old in foreign country.

But I didn't care about all his shenanigans. I'd convince myself it wasn't his looks that I fell for. Because when you start to know someone, all their physical characteristics start to disappear. You begin to dwell in their energy, recognize the scent of their skin. You see only the essence of the person, not the shell. That’s why you can’t fall in love with beauty. You can lust after it, be infatuated by it, want to own it. You can love it with your eyes and your body but not your heart. And that’s why, when you really connect with a person’s inner self, any physical imperfections disappear, become irrelevant. I think this Omani guy and I shared such connections. Nonetheless, just as swiftly as our encounter happened, it wasn't long before I was back in Malaysia , a couple of months later, and he was nothing but a distant, albeit both bitter and sweet, memory.

You know what I both love and miss about this place is though? The sound of the azan! In KL, I feel its drowned out by our fast-paced life. Not to say Dubai isn't up there in the scale of modernity, but they have a firmer grip on their faith and the azan mirrors it.

From the balcony of my apartment, at dusk, I can hear the electronic crackle of wires being twisted together in the minaret of the mosque down the street, before the amplified wail of the azan implores the faithful to evening prayer. Across the city, muezzins' cries from half a dozen of other mosques flavour the darkening air with exhortations. I've been at a similar balcony before, the Omani guy's apartment, and have heard the texture of dusk in the middle east as part of an exotic soundtrack to my stay in Dubai. I love how the muezzin seemed to be speaking directly to me. Their ancient voices, tinged with centuries-old advocacy of faith and duty, sounded like calls to action.

I might be going to Oman for the weekend.Will blog about it if I do!

ps : part of the post is an exerpt of an email I wrote to someone I'm slightly crushing on. ( you know what that means guys ; me crushing incessantly, then totally realizing the whole crush/love mumbo jumbo is totally not my thing and I retrograde back into my jaded self )