suitcase skeletons

UCAS season is around the corner, the same goes for applications to studying in the US and wherever else.


I went for the Oxbridge talk today, only to realize how stupid I was for thinking that I actually stood a chance. I am clearly not smart enough despite having the passion for my course of interest. Oxbridge is purely academic based when it comes to its candidate selection and I dont think I have enough As.


Applying for University of Colorado at Boulder , Texas School of Geoscience and Imperial London( my uni's of choice ) means I have to sit my SATs, IELTs and complete a very lengthy application. But it seems pointless, since there's no chance in hell are my parents going to pay. If I dont get a scholarship, Im going to have to study here. In Malaysia. Forever. Getting a scholarship seems impossible. There's the tough exams and thousands of others competing for the same thing. There's this grippling fear at the bottom of my gut which extends all the way to the cavity in my chest, leaving me breathless at the thought of not making the straight As or scholarship.