suitcase skeletons

I cant believe its Ramadhan already!

Ive always loved Ramadhan, maybe because my mam's a big fan too. We were never a big fan of Hari Raya. Somehow the the whole commotion of getting dressed ,insincere apologies, and labouring over cooking wasn't worth it.

I was talking to Ella the other day, ranting and pouring out my worries to her about my studies and what will become of it. She reminded me to pray, and ask what I wish for. It didn't occur to me, the gravity of what she said ,until the conversation ended and I was left rereading everything she wrote. I need to ask. If there's one person who can give me everything or anything in this world, its God. I keep thinking "as long as I remember him, I'm fine". But what better way to remember him than to face him, 5 times a day in solitude, cleansed, and conscious. After all, I am his hamba. His slave. He has given me a healthy life, a beautiful family a perfect ( using perfect very loosely here ) physique.

I felt sad and unworthy. Embarrassed to face God again in prayer, after my ignorance all this while. After thinking Him as this vast entity singularly instead of His vast power and how I am absolutely nothing , not even a spec compared his entire creation.


I promise to make this Ramadhan my best yet.